Sorry guys, one more...

Ok so I started reading this article because the picture made me chuckle... (in a sardonic kind of way, vs a "this really tickles my funnybone" kind of way.) It was a picture of Dungy and his Motorola headphones on, with an ethereal glow surrounding him, (which really brings out his freckles!) and a halo delicately resting on that putrid blue Colts hat. He was staring, pensively, no no scratch that, staring kindly, off into space... as if contemplating how to save stray animals. then in contrast, we have Bill B. surrounded by red, with an angry scowl and little nubby horns sprouting from his forehead, looking rather like someone who beats children for fun... (not that there is ANYthing wrong with that...)

 

So i said hey, what the hell, I'll bite, or in this case, click. So i clicked... and I read... and then I started sweating... then I got so angry, that instead of even FINISHING this FILTH espn.com called an article, I decided to bother you with yet another email today! What are we up to, like 4 now? In any case... This article even managed to call OUR coach classless against Wade Freaking Philips!!! Who didn't shake WHOS hand???? We are just trying to say screw you to the rest of the world (well, kind of true..) and we had NO right to run the score up pointlessly.. and Philips on the next play ORDERED his team to kneel out, as would any coach with class... etc.

 

I'm steamed... I'm going to go look at ugly people on myspace now so I can calm down... I may not even finish reading the article. (ya, right..) So again, forgive me, I'll try to make this LEGIT my last... note I said TRY... lets not set myself up for failure now shall I...

Dummies are Everywhere!

Here is an article from this past week... Please forgive the cut and paste, but it was worth the read... Pay particular attention to the "gag reflex" reference at the end... It's annoying, and yet funny, because it's true! I love propaganda...

 

BOSTON -- If you think Boston sports fans have been insufferable in the past, just wait.

"Even black people love the Red Sox now, bro'," yelled a drunken Red Sox fan following Boston's Game 7 ALCS victory as I waited for a cab.

Ah, whatever "bro."

"And playa-playa," the man continued, "you look like Cris Collinsworth from HBO."

He was so wasted I believe he meant HBO's Cris Carter, the former Minnesota Viking. And I'm better looking than both. Bro'.

In one fell swoop, the city of Boston has become the center of the sports universe, which means Boston sports fans have a lot to cheer about. And trust me. They will. In your face.

And Yankees fans weep.

Boston fans were once to be pitied. The Red Sox and New England Patriots, not too long ago, were laughing stocks. Now the sports world has been tossed into a state of disequilibrium as Boston sports teams are kicking everyone's ass.

It will be interesting to see how Boston sports fans -- sometimes elegant, sometimes thuggish, occasionally baleful and always loyal -- handle this stunning renaissance. A renaissance we have not seen in years in any other city, if ever.

How will Red Sox fans handle being the front-runner instead of road kill? How will they handle causing the fans of other teams to weep instead of weeping themselves?

There are potentially two dynasties in this city. The Patriots already are and the Red Sox could become the next. Now, Red Sox fans and their team will be highly scrutinized targets the way the Yankees and their fans have been. Will they react to the scrutiny and become as arrogant and mean spirited as Florida Gator fans or as psycho as Dallas Cowboys fans or as paranoid as Cleveland fans? Or will they handle their newfound success with class?

When I covered the Patriots for the Boston Globe, fans would throw batteries packed in snow and ice at anything on the field that moved -- opposing players, Patriots players, the media, visiting heads of state, the Pope. Anyone. Now, they're throwing rose petals. They aren't hurling epithets and slurs as much as they once did; they're embracing the good fortune.

Look at what's happening in Boston. The Red Sox might be World Series champions for the second time in four years (actually they will be; Colorado is totally overmatched). The shock-and-awe Patriots have won three Super Bowls and currently look unbeatable while Boston College could be the best football team in the nation.

Not to mention the Boston Bruins are off to a solid start and the Celtics this offseason added Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen, instantly transforming that franchise from moribund to studly.

"It's great to be the city of champions and have so many good sports teams," Boston Mayor Thomas M. Menino told the New York Times. "The spirit of the city, people feel good about the city."

Thanks for that enlightening quote, your honor.

See, that's why Boston fans are impossible to take. What does "the spirit of the city" mean exactly? Who talks that way?

It's going to get bad. They are going to talk, talk, talk these Boston fans. They'll be jabbing fingers in your face, lighting up message boards, peeing on people's lawns and crank calling Jets fans.

We're going to see pictures of some drunken Kennedy cousin at Fenway Park and shots of faux celebrities swapping kisses. We're going to hear chants of "Let's go Red Sox" everywhere -- in restaurants, in public bathrooms, in our dreams.

We're going to see local television journalists yell "Go Sox!" during their broadcasts as some did during the ALCS against Cleveland.

And perhaps worst of all, we're going to see and hear from Ben Affleck.

It's going to get really, really bad.

Millions of people may have to cover their ears and eyes as Boston dominates American sports in the coming days.

Just prepare yourself, non-Boston sports fans, for your gag reflex to be regularly engaged.

Be prepared ... bro'.

This week!

Well hello again everyone! First of all, i'd like to give you the link to a wonderful article that our fellow pats fan, Ari "someone stole my Maroney Jersey" Goldmann! The article is awesome, and hilarious! My favorite paragraph was: "It was 2004, when a merry band of self-proclaimed "Idiots" forever changed the face of the franchise by winning its first World Series since 1918 and proving that the "curse" was nothing more than a five-letter punch line. No more "1918" chants in the Bronx. No more fans mythically lining up like lemmings on the Tobin Bridge."

 

If you can't laugh at that, you're not right in the head! I'm still chuckling about it! (of course, nobody has ever accused me of being all that right in the head either i suppose...) Humor aside (which there is a GREAT deal of) this article should make any loyal, PRE-'04, sox fan well-up, because it is only they who would understand some of the references... The article, found on boston.com, proclaims this year's comeback, as something that is no longer "unfathomable, instead [something which] unfolded like a logical sequel to 2004's 'Faith Rewarded.'" I'm the first to admit, I'm not a general baseball fan...but ofc I love the sox, and hate the Yankees...they breed us that way in Ma! I know how to spell Yastrzemski (well, at least i can SAY it anyway...) and Bucker's name makes me wince... So even though you ALL know I'm football first, and everything else second, I'm still so excited and nervous I could die! As long as there are no conflicts with the Pats, I'll be watching every one of the series games lol!

 

So that said, tonight, Game one of the World Series! Can you stand it? I personally can't... and I'm not sure my liver can either! This has been the most stressful couple of sports weeks of my life! I don't handle the pressure well... oh, and my boss is starting to get a tad suspicious of the "flu" i keep getting following all weeknight Sox/Pats games... In any case, same bat-time, same bat-channel. Head to the union pub and harass Lance the bartender... And let us not forget games 2 and 3 coming up Thursday and again Saturday. And then coming up this Sunday, Pats V DeadSkins! Games at 4:15, but get there early and don't forget, be LOUD! I can bet that a bunch of jackass Redskins fans will be at the Times on Sunday...

 

Now, on to the useless stats and info: It's funny because the 'Skins fans have been running off at the mouth an AWEFUL lot... up until the begining of this week, and now I'm hearing: "Well, the Sox will always suck, and they are going down... and as long as the Skins keep the Pats under 30 points, thats enough of a moral victory to us!" (ok, there's not a skins fan alive that would write that well... so that's a bit of a paraphrase... moral, and victory in one Redskin fan's vocabulary? Not likely... they are both multi-syllabic!"

 

So really quickly, Brady has been nominated for the second week in a row for the FedEx Player of the week. I'd love to see that announced on Friday... right before we go play the Skins, who hail from FedEx Field! lol.

 

 Ok, at the risk of sounding cocky... there's not a whole lot i have to say about this game. I can tell you that we have met the Skins during our regular season, just 8 times. The Redskins HAVE had a tendency to beat us, however I honestly believe that it's due to the fact that the Pats (and pat's fans) like to sleep on the teams that do poorly, and then show thier ass when they actually have to play them. We DID however beat the skins 40-zip in the preseason this year... Now normally i would say 40 is a little lower than we could do (here comes that cocky again!) but I'll take another 40 on a shutout! Now, keep in mind that we haven't beaten the skins in the regular season since 1972... But I think this is a great year to update our stats! We've been breaking records and beating personal bests, and updating stats all season, why stop now?

 

Since our match up with the Bears, November 10th, 2002, we have been on a 20-2 winning streak against NFC teams. Just last season alone, we were 4-0 against NFC teams... The total combined scores from those four games were 111-41! It's funny, because that's exactly the score I'm hoping to get this week!

 

Another interesting fact is that this is the only NFL team that Brady doesn't have a regular season win against, as a starting QB!! Lets just see if we can't get his little sissy pants a win shall we? Then he will have beaten every single NFL team during his career! Interestingly, Jason Cambell has never even played the Pats so lets NOT allow him to win his first match up against us!

 

 

A stat in our favor: the Skins have never played us, in the regular season, at "Gillette"(blech, hate that name) stadium.. and we just so happen to be 17-1 in our last 18 games against teams making their first apperence in our new stadium... We hold the all time record of 21-4 against Gillette virgins in fact! Follwing the game on Sunday, there will be only five teams left that haven't played us at home in the new stadium: Arizona, Atlanta, Carolina, Philadelphia and St. Louis... not that ANY of them would have a chance in or OUT of our stadium!

 

 

I think that's all for now... I'm sure as I read on, I will find other crap to bother you with! in fact, I'll be sending an email out regarding our bus trip to Bmore next!

 

As always: GO PATS!!! (Oh, and Sox too! )

 

Heather Barclay

 

WORLD SERIES!!!!!

So, yesterday was the most emotionally exhausting sports day of my life! After blowing the dolphins out of the water (yes, i had STRONG doubts) we then went on to win game 7 of ALCS...I can't take more stress! The game went from being pretty damned close, to a legit blow out... Yep, life is pretty good!

 

Game one of the series will be this wednesday. Location TBD... most likely the Pub, but something different may pop up between now and then. I'll shoot out an email tomorrow with specifics.

 

Now, as for the Dolphin game! Here come the stats... First let me say that we were one touchdown pass away from being the SIXTH team in NFL history to ever have 7 TD passes in one game. The most recent was in 1969, and that was by none other than Joe Kapp in 1969, just one year before he was traded to the then Boston Patriots! So, needless to say, it has not been done anytime in recent history. That is now my goal for next week's game against the Deadskins. However, we did beat the franchise record for most TD's scored. the 6 touch down passes Brady threw broke the previous record of 5, which was matched last week, by Brady, and originally set by Vito Parilli in both '64 and '67, and then again in '79 by my darling Grogan. So in just two games, Brady matched, then broke the franchise record... the only thing left IS the NFL record! We also beat the franchise record of points scored in a single half! At the half we had 42-7 on the dolphins... the previous record was back in 1978 at Schaefer Stadium, against the Jets. We went into the half in that game with 41-7, and went on to win 55-21... hmm, I like that score better!

 

Yesterday's score marked the 6th highest score in franchise history, and the HIGHEST score since we played the colts, November 18th, 1984... where we scored 50-17... can we get THAT score on the 4th?? Basically, going over the long list of scores from past games, we are putting up some disgusting numbers. Some of the various headlines today say things like, "the patriots are so good, they don't need to cheat ~Everett Herald" or "Brady, Patriots, flawless again Myrtle Beach Sun News." or finally "[miami] Stadium Hardly Dolphin Safe ~Boston Globe." I think the first one is my favorite, I legit laughed out loud... 

 

Randy Moss: can we say inhuman?? The man just isn't right, nobody can be that good!! There were two TD passes that NOBODY should have caught!! But sure enough, he did... He can bend, twist, stretch, jump, like nobody i've ever seen, and he and Brady work so well together it's almost like he can catch a Brady pass without even looking... they are just that good together. Moss is now the second reciever in Patriots history to catch 10 or more TD passes in a single season, and as Ms. Emilio's mother would say, "there's a lot of football left!" And it's true! We just finished game 7, and Moss has caught a total of 10 passes thus far. I believe it's safe to say that he may just catch a few more this year...

 

Another important record broken: and this is a big one! Yesterday, and this is what I've been hoping for all week (silently so as not to jinx something)... The patriots broke the NFL record run. We are the first time in NFL history to win each of the first 7 games, beating our opponant by 17 or more points each game!!

 

A couple more honerable mentions: Two 100+yard receivers, 138 for Welker and 122 for Moss. Junior Seau sacked the Lemon for his 54th career sack. back up back up QB Matt Gutierrez made his NFL carrer debut, and may I just add that he looked a hell of a lot better than that goddamned Matt Cassel who gave up an interception first rattle out of the box... ugh!

 

Ok guys, it's been a hell of a weekend, and I'm drained! There will be more later, regarding our upcoming game against the Redskins... i've gotta get reading now, and will subject you to another novel later on in the week...

 

Talk to you all soon, GO PATS/GO SOX!!

 

Heather Barclay

 

 

What is a Masshole

Here's another one of my recent emails. This all started by me asking the group if they had ever used the term "BoSox" in their lives?! Other than media and the occasional dipshit, i had never heard of such a thing, but some non-new england native (read: bandwagon) red sox fan tried to tell me that EVERYONE did to differenciate between the "ChiSox." ::gag:: so I had posed the question... which spawned discussion of people East of 128 saying Mass vs Massachusetts, and then finally into the term Masshole. Being very proud of my "masshole-edness" I sent out this reply. Pardon the rambling, as it's been a wonderfully emotional two days for me, sports-wise:



Now, first of all I cant really address the "mass" thing, because i know that i say it, but I'm also from Worcester County... which many of you jerks keep calling WESTERN mass which is SO not true... I'm central!!! :-P (PS, see? I just did it... i said western MASS lol)

But I would LOVE to address the "masshole" thing. First of all, from what i've learned about the word, it originated in NY... but it's now commonly used in VT/NH/ME in reference to those of us who jump the border to go shopping tax free! (guilty... bought my car in NH...)

It's also often (i would say MOST commonly) used as an "insult" towards our very uh, unique style of driving. If you look the word up on urbandictionary they have the most ignorant and derogatory definition... wikipedia however has some awesome little blurbs about it, and both are worth checking out.

So, i've written all of this to say: I'm a masshole.... i drive fast, cut people off, and tailgate like it's my job! I think that using a directional is a sign of weakness, and i know how to use a rotary! I'm loud, i'm rowdy and I drink Jameson like a sailor, hell, I named my dog Jameson! I know every word in "Tessie" and prolly every other Murphey's song too. I can tell you, in order every Patriots QB in franchise history, and I know every name the stadium has ever been called... Not only did i spend a car payment on ravens/pats tickets, I've already taken that day, and the FOLLOWING day off from work. I live to get drunk and fight... i specifically enjoy fighting people from NY... If this makes me a Masshole, then damnit I'm proud of it! So proud in fact, that i have a bumpersticker on the back of my car, and a matching tshirt that says MASSHOLE in redsox letters.

Now, just for the record, the reason I'm railing on and on about how goddamned proud I am to be from Massachusetts is, well, did YOU guys watch the game last night? Have you watched ESPN at all lately? I got my game tickets yesterday, the Pats are looking better than they've looked in my memory, (getting caught was the best thing to happen to us... Bill is giving every single other hater out there the finger with every touchdown we score...) The sox pulled one out last night, even though i'm a BU supporter, i still have to have love for BC doing so well, the Celts may actually have a season worth mentioning and there are even rumors that our dear hockey team might actually do something this year! I've always loved being from New England, but it's had it's sports related ups and downs... but right now, it's feeling PRETTY good to be from Mass! (yep, mass... I said it again!)

Intro and Rules of engagement

Hello all! For those of you who haven't been suffering through my long emails every week, I figured I should do a brief introduction. My name is Heather and prior to moving to DC, I was a lifelong resident of the great commonwealth of Massachusetts. ::stands and salutes:: As I sit at my desk at work and type this (because the sox won last night, so I'm clearly not getting anything productive done today) I look around and smile and the, almost obsessive, amount of Patriots, uh, crap for lack of better term. I have a light up mini Pats helmet on Mardi Gras beads from Vegas that a friend of mine got while she was there for her birthday, i have a giant Pats calender, a patriots tissue box, a little patriots pen caddy complete with about 12 patriots pens... two pads a patriots note paper... and a printed email from my friend Maura that says simply: WE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Referring to her winning bid on two tickets to the Pats V Ravens monday night game. Does this make me obsessive? Perhaps.

The reason for this blog is because while my poor fan club members think they are getting mini-novels before each game, there is often SO much more that i have to say! So I've decided at this stage of the game, it's time to get a blog... hey, everyone's doing it right? So heretofore, I shall be putting the excess, the mental spillover if you will, here. If you read this, I can't be blamed for my violent and chronic verbal diarrhea!

Let me end this nonsense by saying I appreciate comments, both positive and negative, but here are my rules: Yankees fans, move on... LOL just kidding, HOWEVER, if you don't have anything constructive to say, and "red sox suck" or "belicheat" or any other camera-related slur do not qualify, then please don't waste my time. If you want to discuss the fact that we were busted cheating and are now handing out giant fuck you's to every single person who ran their mouth about us having cheated to get our rings every time we run the score up past 34, then so be it, but it must be constructive.

I swear like a trooper, and while I will try to keep it to a minimum, I promise nothing. If you offend easily, don't bitch to me about it, just find another post to read. While talking about offending, I can be VERY politically INcorrect... again, if you don't like it, don't read it.

If you graduated from Villanova, i don't want to talk to you... As a umass grad, I've gotten into more scraps with those a-hole fans than any other team we ever played!

Please do not send me hate mail, if you have something to say, post a comment... if you live in the DC area and want to join the fan club, then feel free to shoot me an email.

I write this for fun, and out of a deep and undying love for the Patriots... I'm not a bandwagon fan by any means. I can name all the QB's in franchise history, in order.... I can tell you every single name the stadium was ever called, I suck at fantasy football, because I refuse to have any Dolphins, Steelers, Colts or Jets on my team, in addition to traitors such as our former Kicker, and the likes... I've been a fan since I was born... I'm an October baby, and I spent my first Pats game (October 9th, Pats V Ravens, Grogan starting... we lost... such was the trend back then.. we went 7-9 that year) resting on my fathers chest... something that day rubbed off, and I've been an addict ever since. If you love the patriots as much as I do, or at least love football as much as I do, then read on, and enjoy!

And as always, GO PATS!!!

SQUISH THE FISH!

ah... how '80's! Well, ok guys, here's the deal. I'm too superstitious to give you any of the delicious stats that i have for Sunday's game. I have some good, and some bad, but they're all fascinating (god knows i love my useless Pats Stats). However good or bad, I'm legit freaked out that i'm going to jinx something! SO.. I'll be giving you the cool numbers about this weeks matchup, next week! I'll shoot of a little DCAP Post-game report!

However, lord knows I can't pass up a chance to give you SOME kind of random statistics... SO, I did a little head-head comparison. I matched up Brady, Manning, McNair and Rothlesburger. Here's my justification for the picks. Manning, need i say more, McNair because Bmore, at home, on a Monday night could be something to write home about... and Big Ben because many of the "experts" are saying that the one team that will make us 15-1 will be the Steelers... which I personally don't see, but lord knows i've been wrong before, I mean, look at my weekly pick-em score! lol. In any case, Brady is leading the pack with a 73% pass completion rate, followed by Manning at 69% Mcnair at 66% and poor old tired, no helmet havin Ben at a meager 62%

One thing we need to watch tho, looking at these guys stats, is Sacks. Ben leads with 11!! However, Tommy boy next with 6, McNair 4, and "Saytan" only 3 times thus far. Gotta work on our protection, and that was pretty obvious against our match against the 'boys. While sacks alone are bad enough, you need to look at total yards lost as a result. For us, we've lost 34yards total... Poor Ben's lost a whopping 89, McNair and the Eagles gave up 37, but the scary number is Manning... he and his line have only blown 15 total yards due to sacks...

Manning is also the only out of the four to directly score any points. He has one TD to his credit this year. However, we are tied damn near across the board with 2 INT each (except ofc for dear old Ben.. he's got 3...) so take those stats and do what you will with them.. but all in all, i think we are working with a hell of a team this year, and I've also (ack!) given Brady some praise here and there... and EVERYone knows how I feel about him.

Welcome to the upper echelon folks... I'm liking the view from up here!

In other news, I'll be at the Pub tonight for the game... lets all say a silent prayer, periodically throughout the day... my boy's on 106.7, the Junkies, are saying they think this will be the full 7 games... with the sox pulling out of their asses at the end. And quick question... someone was trying to tell me that "EVERYONE" from Mass calls the sox the "BoSox" to distinguish from the "ChiSox" please tell me that's not actually true. I mean, i know the Globe's done it... but in everyday conversation, i can't imagine going up to another Masshole saying, "So, Sully, you catch that pissah BoSox game last night? It was wicked nuts hey!" Quite frankly, if you know me, or even if you've just heard me talk, I don't feel i need to clarify WHICH Sox I'm talkin about!